Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Flirting with the law
I had to call the police today. Then the police had to call me back 3 times. I think the copper was flirting with me. But now he knows my name, address, job and birthday. I am expecting birthday presents now.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Quandry induced quagmire
I don't like being in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship. I totally judge all my friends who are married and would not trade my life for their miserable monogamous ones. I even remember as far back as being 4 or 5 years old and telling my parents how I was never going to be married, though I would be having kids, and totally believing it. And that was before I met the fuckers that would make me bitter about love and the idea of "love". I do still want kids though and still believe I'll never get married.
But I always want what I can't have. I lust and crush after random people for no real reason. It could be something like the way they said a particular word or phrase that sounded cool, or a picture they doodled, or a funny retort. I know it's pretty much just a phase of an infatuation but there's just no stopping it until it runs out of steam. And it's not like I really think there's any future in it or even actually wanting anything to happen as you can't really base an entire future on a funny doodle. It's a stupid crush that my normally bitter self would sneer at but somehow they co-habit without clash.
I have a friend who I used to hang out with a fair bit. He was not someone that I was interested in, but he was smart and made me laugh and was always just that little bit strange (but just enough to make it seem OK)(also it made me feel a little bit normal). Anyway it was nice. We kind of lost touch for a few months. Then out of the blue he says we should hang out. But on the day of said hanging-out, nothing. A week later I get a text saying sorry I forgot blah blah blah lame lame lame excuse.
Repeat vague non-showing-up and non-letting-me-know times 4. A bit annoying to say the least.
So now that he can't even make the effort to be friends with me, it makes him hot to me.
I am fucked up.
But I always want what I can't have. I lust and crush after random people for no real reason. It could be something like the way they said a particular word or phrase that sounded cool, or a picture they doodled, or a funny retort. I know it's pretty much just a phase of an infatuation but there's just no stopping it until it runs out of steam. And it's not like I really think there's any future in it or even actually wanting anything to happen as you can't really base an entire future on a funny doodle. It's a stupid crush that my normally bitter self would sneer at but somehow they co-habit without clash.
I have a friend who I used to hang out with a fair bit. He was not someone that I was interested in, but he was smart and made me laugh and was always just that little bit strange (but just enough to make it seem OK)(also it made me feel a little bit normal). Anyway it was nice. We kind of lost touch for a few months. Then out of the blue he says we should hang out. But on the day of said hanging-out, nothing. A week later I get a text saying sorry I forgot blah blah blah lame lame lame excuse.
Repeat vague non-showing-up and non-letting-me-know times 4. A bit annoying to say the least.
So now that he can't even make the effort to be friends with me, it makes him hot to me.
I am fucked up.
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