I hate you

Now fuck off and die.

Seriously

Still angry

Plus I left my phone at home, and I didn't get time to wash my hair so I felt gross. And work was a bitch. Seriously. Over. It.

No soup for you

Sometimes irrational hatred hits. And all I want to do is lash out at people, cut them off completely. For really silly reasons, nothing they're probably even aware of. Lately this is happening all too frequently.

Today I am super dooper angry. People who just don't get it are really getting to me. I want to fucking annihiliate stupid people. Let them rot away in some dreary god forsaken shack on a horrible lost island that's shitty. I just can't stand it anymore. This job doesn't help either.

Only 3 more weeks left though til I get mini respite from the relentless drivel and moaning. Then I actually have to figure shit out like I promised my boss I would. At least he is starting to get it.

I hate it when

Zeke was right. It worked.

Stalker #2

Mr Undies told me a little while ago that he purposely kept from me and the other flatmate that he knew our ex-flattie who we HATED (and who on thinking back now, was the original Mr Undies). In fact, not just that he knew him, but that he was friends with him, regularly went drinking with him and purposely kept that knowledge from us because of his own sinister purposes.

Anyway, Mr Undies told me he was moving out with his (ahem, vomit) girlfriend. Cue screaming, eye scratching images of Mr and Mrs Undies shagging. VOMIT. Right... um... where was I? OK. So I interview a gazillion people for the room and make a decision without telling Flatmate #2 because he doesn't care anyway.

I ponder and eventually make my decision public on facebook who I have picked. Flatmate #2 and Mr Undies are not on my facebook (Mr Undies is in fact pre-emptively blocked in a story for another occasion). However, Mr Original Undies IS on my facebook.

A few hours after posting the details of the new flatmate, I see Mr Undies (and Mrs Undies! She exists!!) and he asks me about "the new girl". It doesn't click with me til later that he clearly has knowledge of my facebook stuff and I and my friends have been slagging him off this whole time. No wonder he's moving out. But either way I'm happy to be rid of him at long last.

I also surreptitiously act like a spy and take secret photos of Mr and Mrs Undies to show people who have yet to see them in person. Unfortunately Mrs Undies is too quick to be captured by camera, but Mr Undies has been. Woo.

Hello stalker

Hi Daniel.

Hookers

I live in the Cross. There are lots of hookers around. Near me the local hookers are often tranny hookers that look like rugby players.

So tonight, as I was walking home and opening the door to my building a bucktoothed, suited, gross suited man in his 40s wiggles his eyebrows at me asking me if I am a hooker. ICK.

If I wasn't so grossed out to touch him or even to be in the same vicinity as him I would have kicked the shit out of him. But alas, my only reaction was to go OMG NOOOOO and run into the building, leaving him to his bucktoothedness and wiggly eyebrows.

UGH.

People are fuckwit dickheads

See heading.

Crush

While it is nice to have a random shag on call, I have developed a crush on the Aboriginal-Irish-English guy at work. I don't know why, he's just nice and there's this uncontrollable urge drawing me to him. Even though he's got a kid and a partner, he's just really hot. Not in a conventional way but in a really surprising phhwoooooarr! sort of way that kinda knocks you about abit and takes you months to realise you're falling for someone.

It's fucked. I hate this.

Verbal Diarrhoea

Stress = dodgy flatmate doing a runner and trying to top herself. Stress = dodgier undies-man flatmate being super dodgy and revealing he is friends with a similarly crazy dodgy prior undies-man style flatmate, while not acknowledging that you are sobbing uncontrollably.

So now I have verbal diarhhoea. I can't stop. When someone says how are you innocently, I bombard them with that and more. I need to stop it.

Stress

Shagged a random last Sunday.

Feeling sorry for myself

I don't know if my scratchy sore throat is the result of scream-singing to the JJJ Hottest 100 of all time, combined with the cold air being too contrasting for my throat. I really really hope it's just poor decision making in singing about the house loudly, rather than being sick.

I hate being sick. I hate a flu shot this year for the first time ever and have been lucky to avoid illness, especially considering how bloody accident prone in general I am (hello Tetanus in Thailand, Torn Ligament Christmas in Holland, more ligament damage Missing a Mini-step In My Own Garage and Tumbling Head Over Ass With A Laptop in the Backpack I Was Wearing and Broken Toe Opening the Freezer Door on Sunday Morning).

On a non-whingeing note, wow I forgot how cute and sweet the Beach Boys God Only Knows was and super glad all those people made it the top 50 of all time so that I could rediscover it today. Seriously, despite my throat and now snotty runny nose, I am all happy and feeling all aaaaaaawwwwww over everything.

Booty Calls

I just booty called someone. Well, booty texted. Weird but whatever. I'm drunk!

Flirting with the law

I had to call the police today. Then the police had to call me back 3 times. I think the copper was flirting with me. But now he knows my name, address, job and birthday. I am expecting birthday presents now.

Quandry induced quagmire

I don't like being in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship. I totally judge all my friends who are married and would not trade my life for their miserable monogamous ones. I even remember as far back as being 4 or 5 years old and telling my parents how I was never going to be married, though I would be having kids, and totally believing it. And that was before I met the fuckers that would make me bitter about love and the idea of "love". I do still want kids though and still believe I'll never get married.

But I always want what I can't have. I lust and crush after random people for no real reason. It could be something like the way they said a particular word or phrase that sounded cool, or a picture they doodled, or a funny retort. I know it's pretty much just a phase of an infatuation but there's just no stopping it until it runs out of steam. And it's not like I really think there's any future in it or even actually wanting anything to happen as you can't really base an entire future on a funny doodle. It's a stupid crush that my normally bitter self would sneer at but somehow they co-habit without clash.

I have a friend who I used to hang out with a fair bit. He was not someone that I was interested in, but he was smart and made me laugh and was always just that little bit strange (but just enough to make it seem OK)(also it made me feel a little bit normal). Anyway it was nice. We kind of lost touch for a few months. Then out of the blue he says we should hang out. But on the day of said hanging-out, nothing. A week later I get a text saying sorry I forgot blah blah blah lame lame lame excuse.

Repeat vague non-showing-up and non-letting-me-know times 4. A bit annoying to say the least.

So now that he can't even make the effort to be friends with me, it makes him hot to me.

I am fucked up.