Frenemy

I've recently become friends with someone who is a very sassy woman. She is what many (including myself) consider to be oozing sex appeal in the traditional sense: blonde, blue-eyed, smart, and generally gorgeous. Super funny too. One of her oldest and best friends moved to Australia with her and while I'm sure they love each other, boy is there a lot of frenemism going on there.

I totally get why L complains about Miss Sassy stealing all the sunshine, all the attention from anything with a penis. I have experienced it my entire life, because my friends have more often than not been gorgeous but also lovely people and the world gravitates towards them. As opposed to negative bitches like me. But I revel in my bitter world. I love the fact that I am single and don't have to pander to anyone's ideas of perfection.

Sassy complains about L telling shitty stories about her in public, or yelling about Sassy's boyfriend as soon as a hot guy comes within earshot. And yet, the hot guy will totally fall over themselves to tell Sassy to keep them in mind whenever she ditches her stud, while L fumes in the background.

Sassy thinks L is overreacting. Sassy thinks that she is completely non-chalant and not at all encouraging any boy to hit on her and my god no of course she doesn't flirt. I didn't want to say it but wow, even then I was totally siding with L on that count. I did, in a brief moment of guilty doubt, think that perhaps she didn't realise it, and that she wasn't intentionally doing it but just that her other amazing attributes were the reason boys were so keen on her.

I know now that theory is quite wrong after Friday night. Ended up being me and Sassy at the bar after everyone else from work had ditched us. I can't remember how but two randoms joined us and it was a joyous night of us putting the boys in their rightful place (at the bottom of our Megolomaniacal world where we rule) and having lots of shared laughs.

Sassy talks with the average looking "Irish" (ie Aussie through and through except for his passport) bloke, who totally wants to score with her. Most of the night when his Kiwi buddy (who from memory was also average but could pass for hot once his awful Movember face fluff was gone) wasn't roaming striking up random conversations with people, me and him discussed various things including running through the entire cast and special guests of Entourage I would shag over Eric (pretty much everyone except Gary Busey). It was a fun and random conversation. And I think then she senses something is amiss, that someone is not throwing attention her way and that someone is the marginally hotter guy who was talking to me.

As soon as this happens, Sassy is repeatedly hugging him, saying how much she loves his humour, how he is going to be her new best friend and they are going shopping every day and thery will be totally BFF. She gets his phone and puts her number in it and demands that he take her shopping tomorrow so they can buy hot clothes together.

"Irish" boy at this stage is aghast that whatever shot he thought he had with her is totally gone. I wasn't even interested in the Kiwi. But suddenly I was a bit pissed off that she'd doing exactly what L has been saying and very very vigourously.

Coupled with her also targetting my best friend at work (who I've come to consider my "work spouse") once she dumps her boyfriend, I feel like I am actively turning into a frenemy myself. Growing up with 3 brothers I never had to deal with the bitchy competitiveness of sisters. I think I may lose the frenemy battle but I think it's an challenge I'm choosing to take up.

And by the way Kiwi got my number and asked me out. How random. Which proves my long held theory that I only ever like shitheads who won't like me back, but randoms I am not interested in have the same luck in trying with me.