Showing posts with label brain tumour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brain tumour. Show all posts

Saturday, May 23, 2009

No brain tumour but I'm still a blubbering mess

I never get headaches. Right up until last year when they hit me pretty constantly after getting the cervical cancer vaccine jab. So on top of the whole awkward sex lecture various geriatric male GPs gave me, the massively intense pain of the injection itself (along with one GP letting my blood flow freely from my arm instead of putting a fucking band aid on it and commenting "Oh. Look. You're exanguinating"), a little publicised side effect that caused me to possibly harass Richard Branson and also tell my new manager and Director to "go have some gay sex together", it's also given me killer fucking migraines.

ANYWAY. I thought it might have been my glasses cos I am blind without them and wear them 24/7. I got my eyes checked out and they were all good. Glasses were still the right prescription. My trusted optometrist tells me if I keep having regular headaches then I should see a doctor.

OK so it's now 4 months later and after freaking out that I have brain tumour because along with the migraines I am also:

  1. Substituting numbers for letters in my emails and typing like a late onset dyslexic
    [e.g. Su8stitut1ng num83rs for 7etters in my ema17s and ty9ing 7ike a 7ate onset dys7exic]
  2. Become every more clumsy and uncoordinated than usual
    [e.g. a) missing my mouth when I am drinking from a glass]
    [e.g. b) tumbling over on a mini step in my own garage and somehow straining ligaments in the bottom and side of my foot which causes the docs to comment on how weird my injury is and that it makes so sense as to how I could have fallen - BTW this was also the 3rd x-ray and 2nd ultrasound I had to get for injuries that year]
  3. Being unable to speak sentences without the use of "so", "like", "anyway" and "so like anyway" every third word and generally not being able to construct sentences or say words with more than 2 syllables.
  4. Having verbal diarrhoea bitching about someone to thinking it's behind their back but it's actually to their face (honestly though this is probably a step forward in being more honest about who I really am)
  5. Going from my room or the living room to the kitchen (about a 10 second walk) and standing in the kitchen trying to remember what it was that I came in their for.
  6. Being all emotional and crying over episodes of Scrubs, Beverly Hills 90210 (the Original series), Gossip Girl and movies like Bride Wars and the House Bunny (this was interspersed with hilarious unable to breathe laughing).
I go see a doc yesterday. He makes me watch his tingling fingers with one eye each. He then makes me wrinkle up my forehead. Then he grabs my arms and pushes me. Then I had to grab him and push him. And then I have to make chicken wings with my arms. And he tells me I am ok.

So basically this blubbering, weeping, bumbling, blabbering, incoherent-mess-for-absolutely-no-reason-at-all......... is just me being me. Awesome